Yes, words matter. Learning how to talk about suicide in a hopeful, respectful way has the power to save lives. Sabemos que hablar de estos temas causa cierto rechazo. But talking about it is key to helping reduce the stigma. We are currently in Suicide Prevention Month, and at The Better Normal, we believe it is essential to prioritize mental health. That’s why today we’re sharing some useful tools to use when talking to someone who may be struggling.
Why We Need to Talk About Suicide
Did you know that it is a myth that talking directly about suicide will put the idea in someone’s head? Instead, according to the Suicide Call Back Service, discussing suicide openly and honestly about what you’ve noticed and genuinely asking how they are feeling can give the person the opportunity to take the first steps towards getting the help they need.
Here are some ideas to help you start the conversation:
- “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately, is everything ok with you?”
- “I’m worried about you. I’m wondering if we can talk about what’s troubling you?”
- “I saw your post on Facebook. Do you want to talk?”
- “You seem really (down/sad/angry/unhappy) lately. I’m worried that you might be thinking of hurting yourself or suicide. Can we talk about this?”
It is important that you aren’t flippant or use slang words to describe suicide.
Some Specific Tips
According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), while there are specific terms and phrases to avoid when speaking about suicide and mental illness, the general rules below can help you choose your words more carefully.
Avoid:
- Anything that reinforces stereotypes, prejudice or discrimination against people with mental illness and suicidal ideation.
- Anything that implies mental illness makes people more creative, fragile or violent.
- Whatever referred to or defines people by their diagnosis.
Choosing our words carefully is about more than avoiding stigmatizing terms. The language we use can also have a positive effect, which makes choosing the right words just as important as avoiding the wrong ones.
- Be direct. We know that talking to someone about suicide won’t cause or increase suicidal thoughts, or cause the person to act on them. It can help them feel less isolated and scared.
- Be hopeful. People can and do get better.
- Encourage people to seek help.
BELIEVE: We Can Help Prevent Suicide
Work/Life Connections- EAP psychologist Chad Buck created a helpful acronym to keep some of the tips mentioned above in mind: BELIEVE.
- Believe that suicidal comments or gestures are serious
- Engage in conversation about thoughts and feelings
- Listen without judgment or arguing
- Investigate intent and access to lethal means
- Express empathy for the person and situation
- Validate how difficult and painful this is for them
- Encourage them to seek support and escort the person to access help
Let’s Talk!
It’s important to speak up. If you or someone you love is struggling, there are resources. There’s help. There’s someone. You’re not alone. Talking about our mental issues not only helps us but also who’s beside us. We need to start talking about this stuff! Let’s discuss it at home, at work, with our friends, colleagues, and family.
