We’ve all been there—having a friendship that seems to drain the life out of us. It’s a tough topic to approach, and if you’re not ready to think about it just yet, that’s perfectly okay. But when it comes to our well-being, we need to prioritize self-love. Yes, it’s not easy, but sometimes, letting go is the best thing we can do for ourselves.
So how do you know when it’s time to let go? How do you recognize a friendship that drains your energy? Can you say goodbye without hurting the other person? I’ve asked myself those same questions, which is why today I want to help you find the answers.
How Do I Know If a Friendship is Emotionally Draining
If you’re asking yourself whether your friendship is emotionally draining, that already says a lot. Our friends are like our second family. In fact, we often spend more time with them than we do with our own parents. They’re the ones who know everything about us and are there to support us through thick and thin.
That’s why it’s so hard to ask yourself if a friendship is emotionally draining. The first thing you need to understand is that you’re not at fault for asking them. You’re simply responding to your emotions and figuring out how to manage them responsibly. And that’s a great thing to do.
Here are some questions that might help:
- Does my friend get upset if I don’t reply to their messages quickly?
- How do they react if I choose to hang out with other friends? Do they get jealous?
- When we’re together, do I feel good or pressured to do things their way?
- Do I find myself making excuses not to hang out?
- When we spend time together, does my energy feel lifted or drained?
- Does it feel like they always have control over the relationship?
The Importance of Letting Go
Sometimes, the best thing to do is let go—even though it might sound harsh. I’m saying this from personal experience. If you’ve tried time and time again, if you’ve given second chances, and you’re still getting hurt, then it’s time to prioritize yourself.
Remember, no one and nothing is worth compromising your mental health. Letting go means releasing a lot of baggage from the past so you can look ahead. It’s a fresh start. More importantly, it means focusing on your self-love and self-worth. And that’s a huge step because after enduring pain, holding on, and trying to save a relationship that wasn’t serving you, letting go is about choosing yourself.
The best part is that it’s possible to part on good terms. It’s not always about cutting someone off entirely—it’s about recognizing when it’s time to move on. So, yes, you can say goodbye gently, with respect, and love.
How Do I Know If It’s Time To Let Go?
Mark Danaher, international trainer & speaker, professional coach, and holistic career development expert, explains that identifying toxic friends in your life is key to removing them and improving your overall well-being. He says that a toxic friend is someone who:
- Is always negative and brings you down
- Is overly critical and never has anything nice to say
- Tries to control you and dictates how you should live your life
- Is jealous of your success or happiness
- Is manipulative and uses you for their own gain
- Never takes any responsibility for their actions and always blames others
- Is always the center of attention and needs to be the star of every story
If any of these behaviors sound familiar, it may be time to reconsider the friendship and make decisions that benefit your well-being.
How to Let Go of a Friendship That Drains You
Here are some simple steps to follow if you want to let go of a friendship that drains you:
- Communicate
Having an open and honest conversation is always important. Let the person know how you feel, but be mindful of how you phrase things. You don’t have to be confrontational, but it’s important to express that you need to prioritize your mental health. Sometimes, just being honest can help both parties understand where they stand. - Set Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. It’s important to make it clear what you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re not. Boundaries aren’t about being harsh—they’re about protecting your peace. If your friend doesn’t respect them, that’s a sign that the friendship may no longer be healthy. - Let Go
Sometimes, the hardest part is simply letting go. After communicating and setting boundaries, if the friendship continues to drain you, it might be time to walk away. It’s okay to put yourself first, and it’s okay to choose peace over the fear of letting someone go.
Principles to Remember:
- You deserve friendships that lift you up, not ones that constantly bring you down.
- Letting go doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you’re choosing to protect your mental health and make room for healthier, more supportive relationships.
- It’s okay to move on. People change, and so do friendships. What served you once may not serve you now, and that’s completely okay.
Remember, letting go of a draining friendship can be freeing. It’s a step toward better relationships and, most importantly, a better you.