Hello Anna,

My college boyfriend reached out to me on social media. We haven’t talked in years and it has been fun catching up. We both are in relationships with other people, but I think he is flirting with me. He asked if I’d meet him for drinks sometime. Should I go? 

Sincerely,

Sam. T

 

Hi Sam!

Well, honey you must have made quite the impression in college! Listen, everyone enjoys flirtatious attention. But, there’s a fine line between flirting and opening the door for more. Before you make a decision on whether or not to meet for drinks, you need to be honest with yourself about where you’re really at with this. Are you just enjoying the attention? Or are you genuinely interested in re-sparking that flame? If you’re just enjoying the attention, then give your ego a pat on the back and move on. Thank the universe for a reminder of how fantastic you are and close the door. Whether that means meeting for drinks or not, is fairly a moot point once you’ve drawn that line. But, if you’re genuinely interested in opening the door for another go at the relationship, there is a lot to consider. First, he’s flirting with another girl (you) while in a relationship with someone else. Sure, this may be a one-time thing (because you were so unforgettable) or this might be his regular behavior. Second, it’s worth considering why the relationship failed the last time. If there were genuine reasons causing the split (such as compatibility differences, cheating, lack of connection, etc.) the idea that it would be different this time, may be a bit naive. Third, YOU are also in a relationship. Asking yourself why you’re interested in someone other than who you are with, is worth exploring. All in all, this is not the time to fly by the seat of your pants. Definitely take time to figure out what you really want before agreeing to meet him for drinks. 

You’ve got this,

-Anna

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