Hi Anna,

I’m a homebody but my partner likes to go out. He says that our relationship has become boring because we don’t do enough fun things. But, when we do go out he says I’m not fun enough. I am trying everything, but it keeps feeling like it isn’t enough. Can you offer any advice?

-Rachel D.


Hi Rachel!

Fellow homebody here! It is true that opposites often attract. But, opposites in a relationship only work as long as both appreciate the differences and don’t try to change one another. You seem to be an introvert and him more of an extrovert. In a perfect balance, he would encourage you to come out of your shell more and you would encourage him to enjoy some stillness and quiet. Both of you equally honoring what you bring to the relationship and learning from each other. At its best, a healthy relationship enables us to feel unconditionally loved and accepted for who we are. Love shouldn’t feel like a carrot dangled at the end of a list of personality changes. And, sadly, that may be what is happening here. My advice: stop feeling pressured to be someone you are not. You are fantastic exactly as the homebody you are! It’s time to find a partner who appreciates you; not someone who tries to change you. Life is too short. We don’t have time for that!


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