How has this quarantine been affecting our sex lives?
For some, the time spent at home has fostered deeper connections between couples, given people more time and energy to connect with themselves sexually, and helped inspire some fun, flirty online connections. Sex toy sales have skyrocketed after the quarantine began, and dating sites like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have seen a steady increase in users over the months of March and April. Some couples have even reported this quarantine as the best thing to happen to their sex lives.
But for others, the quarantine has more negatively impacted their desire for sex. Some people have struggled to find time for intimacy with their partner while their children are home 24/7, and some have reported a hefty increase in communication problems (especially regarding sex) after being home with one another more than ever before.
For both single people and those in relationships, mental health is one of the leading factors in our levels of sex drive. Some of us are experiencing depression, anxiety, or intense fear surrounding new quarantine life adjustments, which puts us into fight or flight mode more often, pushing sexual desires to the backseat.
Even though everyone’s quarantine experiences are different, we wanted to find some commonalities among people in how their current situation is impacting their sex lives.
We asked a handful of readers a few simple questions surrounding sex during quarantine. Here are their answers:
First of all, tell us if you’re single or in a relationship, and who you’ve been quarantined with:
“I am not quarantined with a partner during this time, but I do have a partner that I’m seeing.” -Addy
“My partner and I live together, so it’s just been the two of us during quarantine.”-Hannah
“I’m single, and I’m living with a roommate.”- Corey
“My partner and I live together.”-Zoe
“I am in a relationship but I’m quarantined alone because my partner lives across the country from me.”-Selena
“I’m single and live alone, so I’ve spent most of the quarantine by myself.”-Nichole
“I am in a relationship but have not been with my partner during most of the quarantine.” -Madison
Would you say your sex drive has increased, decreased, or remained the same? Why?
“I think my sex drive has increased because of the lack of social connection recently. I’ve been missing seeing my friends and physically touching loved ones. So being able to see my partner and have sex has been filling a void from not having any physical touch with other human beings.” -Addy
“My sex drive and my partner’s sex drive have DEFINITELY decreased since being in quarantine. We’re stressed and exhausted, and all we want to do with our free time is eat, relax, and sleep.”-Hannah
“Probably increased a bit, to be honest!”-Corey
“My sex drive has always been something that is closely tied to my emotional well-being. That having been said, my anxiety has been pretty intense at some points during this quarantine situation which means my sex life has taken a toll. -Zoe
“My sex drive has actually remained the same I think. I really miss my partner and we talk consistently every day. I think it also helps that I’ve worked from home for the past few years, so I feel a sense of normalcy still.”-Selena
“My sex drive has decreased a lot. Before quarantine, I was actively going on dates and having casual sex. Masturbation was also a normal part of my routine. But now it’s probably been a few weeks since I’ve even thought about sex. I think it’s because my anxiety and depression have really spiked during all of this. I don’t feel like I’ve had the energy to think about sex.”-Nichole
“I feel like my desire for sex has definitely increased ;)”-Madison
Has anyone tried online dating during quarantine?
“I have kept Hinge and have talked to a guy or two at length. Which I will for sure meet up with when I go back home to NYC.”-Addy
“I’ve kind of tried online dating but haven’t fully committed haha. My attention span isn’t there for some reason.”-Corey
“I’m still on Hinge, but I’ve only swiped through like once or twice since being in Quarantine.I really haven’t been in the mood”-Nichole
What about some sexy texts, photos, video chats?
“Ehh I’m not sexting or anything cause that’s just not me, particularly not with strangers. If I didn’t have the guy I’m seeing right now, I would probably be texting more dudes out of boredom.”-Addy
“My partner and I have been sending nude photos probably every day! We’ve been doing distance for a while now, so we are used to flirty texting and stuff. We did try video sex for the first time last week which was awesome…”-Selena
“I was texting someone the other day that I used to have a thing with and they were being pretty flirty. Honestly though I got a bit bored after a while and it didn’t go anywhere, haha.”-Nichole
How has being quarantined with your partner affected your sex life?
“The quarantine has had a negative impact on our emotions and stress levels, and therefore has negatively impacted our sex life. It hasn’t changed desire or attraction, but it has certainly put a wrench in energy levels and emotional availability.”-Hannah
“TBH and maybe TMI it has been really difficult for me to finish lately, maybe because of the added stress of the quarantine. I do feel very fortunate to be living with my partner though, and to have his continual support, both in and out of the sheets 😉 But really, he is always rooting for my well being, and for my orgasm…(literally, when I do finish we share a high five and a mini celebration) – it takes the pressure off a bit. Taking it a day at a time over here!”-Zoe
What else would you say about sex, connection, and quarantine?
“I think my partner and I will 100% be a closer and stronger couple after this shit. We are communicating more than ever, despite also bickering more. We are finding new ways to support each other and are getting creative about the ways we recharge together, and that’s okay if those ways don’t include very much sex right now.”-Hannah
“I think during all of this, our human need for connection is definitely being shed light on during this time for sure.”-Corey
“I just want people to know that it’s okay to feel exactly how you feel during this time. I’ve been super lonely and have been so distracted with my depression and everything going on that I just haven’t been in the mood for sex. Not even in the mood for some self pleasure or anything. And that’s okay. Everyone’s sex lives are going to look different right now”-Nichole
“I think people are desiring more connection with everything going on in the world, and I know all the unknowns have made me realize even more how unimportant a lot of things are and how important my relationships are. More than ever I’ve wanted to be close to the people I love and with my partner during all of this.”-Madison