Love is expansive, abundant, overflowing, and maybe the most widely used term this month. It is used in so many different ways, facets of understanding, and by everyone across the world. It is available for all, whether through someone or from yourself, and it requires a pushing out of unwanted material to more readily welcome it in.
The way that I am going to explain the space we can create for more love is by sharing what I have been learning. I want to share with you the helpful tools that have cleared up the space for me. Think of love as a breath of fresh air, a gust of wind. If your doors are closed, you won’t welcome in any wind. If your walls are piled high with old newspapers and unused furniture, wind won’t be able to flow easily through your home. While your home may be a wonderful structure you’ve built to protect you, maybe it’s nice to take a step outside. Let’s check out these principles I use to create more space for love, shall we?
Open Your Doors
Maybe it is musty inside and you could really use some air flow! In other words, maybe you are subconsciously closing the door on more opportunities for love, from yourself and others. Take time to notice the ways that you say no. If your mind is preoccupied with the past, you have very specific expectations, or you feel like you don’t deserve it, take note! These subconscious walls we build can have a standing chance of lowering if we first begin to notice, acknowledge, and turn these subconscious patterns into conscious ones. Set an intention to let more love in. Thus, you have begun to sweep the floors.
Flip the Coin
This tool has been so helpful for me when I have gotten caught in a loop cycle of negative thoughts. A lot of times, we reject or shy away from love because we feel like we don’t deserve it. We may feel inadequate, undeserving, or unlovable. These are so valid to feel, and they also could be stopping us from moving forward and creating space for more love. Let’s start with the example of feeling inadequate. When you notice these feelings arise, make a conscious decision to tell yourself the antithesis. I am inadequate, or I am adequate for all situations. I don’t deserve love because of what I have done, or everyone makes mistakes and I deserve love like everyone else. These are just a couple examples of how to reverse negative thoughts and create more space for love.
Be the Example
People know how to love us by how we love ourselves. Create an example and love yourself in the way you deserve. Care for yourself, speak kindly to your body, and practice healthy self-love. Reverse negative thought patterns and show up for yourself. The aforementioned negative thoughts and subconscious roadblocks are likely inhibiting us from loving ourselves, let alone allowing others to love us. The more we show up for ourselves, the more we show the world how to do the same, and the more abundance we create. Let the love pour in!
Differentiate Self-Comfort vs Self-Care
In order for us to love ourselves well, we need to know the difference between self-comfort and self-care. Self-comfort can come in handy, but is usually what we do to detach from ourselves in an effort to comfort by avoiding. Whether it is a pint of ice cream, or binging tv for 8 hours, it is easy to get lost in these patterns that we know so well. Self-care is what we consider “healthy coping,” and it allows us to make space for emotions or processing that we may need in order to move forward in a healthy way. Whether it is a long, meditative walk or a talk with a therapist, it is caring to show up for ourselves in the ways we need. When it comes to self-comfort, the tricky part is that we avoid, and when we avoid, we stack up unused furniture and old newspapers, thus stopping the wind from breezing through the house.
Let Go of What’s Behind You
With the cluttered house metaphor previously mentioned, decluttering requires some letting go of the past. If you feel like you are still holding onto past relationships or friendships that are no longer serving you or not in your life, let it go. We over complicate this simple statement, and for good reason! There can be emotional processing and validating we may need before we let go. This is very valid and important to make space for as a part of the process. However, if you feel like you have held on for too long, it may be time to let it go. Either way, envision what it would be like to take off the weight you are carrying, put it in the trash, and walk away. That’s it, it doesn’t have to be with you. When you let go of hurts, shame, or pain from the past, you will feel much lighter and more able to attract the abundance of love you may be looking for.